September
by Sophie The Shipper
Summary: It was in that awfully quiet September night that everything changed. That September night, that night with a black sky that was filled with beautiful lights that no longer helped cure the turmoil going through their heads. [One-Shot] [Major Characters Death]


**Summary** : _It was in that awfully quiet September night that everything changed. That September night, that night with a black sky that was filled with beautiful lights that no longer helped cure the turmoil going through their heads.  
_ **Word Count:** _1812  
_ **Disclaimer** : _I don't own The Big Bang Theory or the characters._

* * *

It was in that awfully quiet September night that everything changed. That September night, that night with a black sky that was filled with beautiful lights that no longer helped cure the turmoil going through their heads. That September night where the streets were filled with people living their lives, making noises that weren't heard by them. That crispy, heartbreaking night. Oh!, that night.

It was that night that everything changed. _Everything_. Not only their thoughts shifted, but also their hearts did, their all lives did, actually.

Heartbreaking. A word that was so powerful, yet not enough to quantify that night. No word would ever be enough to qualify what they all felt that night.

It wasn't that the day started badly. It started like it always did. Waking up, getting dressed, breakfast. But as they all got back home, after work, that's when things changed, that's when the night became... tragic? No, not enough.

The accident that changed everything. The accident that put everything in a different perspective. The accident that made everyone miserable. And still, the night that brought them all together.

It was proof that things change in a heartbeat, in a moment, a second.

But certainly didn't want proof of that.

And as they all sat on the cold, hard floor, staring at the stars, just so still, so bright, so... gorgeous, they still couldn't face the moment. They would gaze to each other occasionally, trying to get some word, regardless of what it was, out of their mouths. But they would all immediately go back to the sky, not being able to face the situation.

They all eventually departed, leaving one soul in that rooftop, no longer staring at the stars, but to the bottom of the bottle on his hands. That poor soul could barely see in front of him, no matter how hard he tried to focus. Everything was a big blur, except when he closed his eyes and pictured her. She wasn't a blur, no. She was perfectly imperfect, no matter how hard she tried she could never be perfect because that's only a concept, an idealization. No one is perfect, although she was almost it.

She was the one to protect him, the one that kept him on his toes, kept him ready to fight back. He didn't use to be like that, but as she appeared in his life, she slowly showed him what it was not to always be peaceful and quiet. She showed him the way the other people lived, the ones that actually lived. She always promised that no matter how hard things got, no matter how scared he was, she was just right beside him, probably just as scared, holding his hand tight.

He could almost feel her hand on his, holding his hand that didn't have the empty bottle. He wanted to open his eyes and see her there, trying to get him to... stop hating himself, perhaps? He could never tell how she did that. If there was anything that would make him feel better in that cold, autumn night. It was the middle of September, but closer to October than from August. Both months had special meanings to him.

She always loved the sun. She loved to drag him to the beach, walk with the sand between her toes, grab his hand and run, she always laughed so hard while doing that. God!, he can still hear her laugh, on that last August day, as she pushed his hand along the beach, he can remember the way the water felt against his feet, the way she laughed at him when a wave came and he jumped. The way her body felt against his as their lips touched, the way her hand felt against his during those walks.

When October came, she immediately started to plan for Halloween. She would start to buy candy, eat them, share them with her, as they watched spooky movies whilst under the covers, both holding each other. The way her lips curled when she smiled, the way that smiled felt against his chest where her head laid. The way her hair tingled his neck when they rested there. If he thinks a bit more, he can remember her costume from last year, the way it rested in her frame, the little smile that played on her face when he told her she looked beautiful, the little blush that showed up in her face after said it, he remembers smiling at that.

But now he could only think of how he was never going to see her anymore, he was not going to see her blushing, her smile, feel her lips against his.

Now, he would only have the feel of the bottle against his lips, since that promise he made all those years ago. _From now on, this mouth, you and food, that's it_ , he remembers promising. Of course, that drinking was also one of those things, even though he never mentioned it, it was almost implied in the sentence.

That bottle was empty, just like him. It was almost midnight by then, the moon was high on the sky and the stars were still shining. And in a few hours, the sun would rise, the moon would disappear with the stars and a new day would begin.

But he didn't want to. He didn't want a new day to begin, he wanted to travel back in time, just to be with her for a little while longer, just hold her through the night, and sigh, growl when it was morning and they had to leave each other and the warm bed they were lying on.

He wanted that night to end, but at the same time... he didn't. He wanted a time machine. He rolled his eyes at himself for thinking he could change something. He couldn't. That night still felt pitiful, distressing, agonizing... whatever adjective he could think of. It still didn't seem right enough, either of those words didn't seem enough to categorize how he truly felt.

He got up, trying to at least steady himself enough to walk to his bed. But he was barely holding himself up against a wall, he would probably not be able to climb down the stairs. Falling back to the now warm, but still hard floor, he tried to close his eyes and sleep. She was close to him, so close he could almost feel her, but so far that he couldn't touch her. And no matter how much he walked or ran, he couldn't grab the hand she had extended for him. She was slipping away from him, with a beautiful smile on her face and her hair flying in the wind.

He woke up startled. She disappeared into fin air, he couldn't find her no matter how much he walked. Looking around, he noticed the sun rising on the horizon, remembered how much she loved to watch it. _I used to see this with my dad when I was a little kid_ , she told him once. He smiled at the image of a little girl smiling at the sunrise, her dad next to her, probably smiling at her.

He shook his head trying to get this thought out of his head. She was gone, she was never coming back. They were never going to enjoy the sunrise together, ever again. They weren't going to see the sunset at the beach like they usually did every time they went to the beach. Just the two of them, curled up together in a beach towel, just looking at the sun hiding on the ocean.

Taking a deep breath, he could feel a headache coming, induced by the heavy drinking from the previous day. Almost laughing at himself, he could almost hear her say _I explained to you more than once already. Drinking is all fun and games until you wake up the next day._

She was full of stupid phrases like those as if she was a wise old oak tree or something like that. But she had lived a crazy (and very drunk) like, so it was normal for her to tell him to stop drinking so much.

But he just couldn't.

It wasn't the flavor of the drink or the fact that it would make him forget about the pain he felt towards his loss. It was the burning feeling the drink would make to his throat. That burning feeling would always make him feel the pain to somewhere else, like his throat, instead of feeling it on his heart.

He knew that spending his life drinking was any life, but he felt like that was the only way to cope with what he lost. He was also aware that he was pushing everyone away since the drunk in him was always yelling everyone.

So he was now alone, as always, in a cold, noisy November, in the rooftop of his apartment. He could hear everyone on the streets living their lives, getting late for work, to go home, to get their kids from school... He just wanted that to end, he wanted everyone to understand he lost someone he loved that he could never get back, someone that made him happy, someone that made him understand he was worth it.

But no one did.

No one ever did, but her.

She was an angel, a perfect angel that was somehow in front of him.

Wait! She's not supposed to be here, is she?

Slowly getting up, ignoring the ringing in his ears or the fact that everything but her was blurry, he started to get closer to her.

Every time he stepped next to her, she got further away, to the point where he could see the entire city. He was stumbling, knowing he couldn't get any closer to her. Was she flying?

"Come with me." She whispers.

"Did it hurt?" He whispers back.

She smiles. "Not at all. It's just like falling asleep."

He steps a little bit closer, becoming an angel just like her.

* * *

Cries are heard over the heavy rain. Everyone is dressed in black, and have big black umbrellas. Just like in the movies.

Five people stood behind as everyone left, crestfallen.

"They really did love each other." One says. He puts his arm around his wife, and kisses his wife, not knowing what he would do if something like this had happened to them. He could only think of their kids, at the moment with their grandparents.

"Yeah. They really did." His wife agrees, and both smile at each other.

"They're together now." Other says and looks at her husband. "Right?"

He looks at her, tears forming at the corners of his eyes. He nods.

"Yes." Looking down at the tombstones, he whispers. "You'll be missed, Leonard and Penny."

* * *

 **The End**

School is starting next week and I need to focus on that. Plus, I'll be honest. Ever since the news that TBBT got canceled, I just hadn't had any inspiration to write for this show. So, hopefully, the inspiration will come back later, even if it is only to end my un-finished stories. I'll try to post stories, but they won't be regular...


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